The year begins with writer’s block. A self-imposed weight to say something profound for the first day of 2024. When I can’t write, I report on my surroundings. My brilliant best friend Evan, the most talented writer I know in real life, taught me this. “Describe the sky and go from there.”
I am sitting on our couch next to empty cardboard boxes. I’d started taking down the tree and ended up here instead. I’ve tried to do this four times already today and about six other times this week. It’s so weird. I’ve been excited to write a New Year’s post for days.
I’m drinking a watered downed iced coffee Alan got me this morning. I started sipping it at my first attempt to write around 9am. At 9:10 I got up and made toast. At 11 I folded laundry. Around noon I took a nap. Since then I’ve milled around, tried on three dresses for tonight (none of which fit, it’s NYE btw) and moved the boxes to the couch to fill with Christmas ornaments. I added more ice to the coffee. Now here I sit.
My word for 2024 is Certainty. It’s the most charged word I’ve ever chosen. Whenever I say it to myself, I feel calm. Like a deep breath. Certainty.
In the past I’ve chosen words like Abundance or Freedom or Content. I like those words but they lack authenticity for me.
I want to be constantly reminded in 2024 that I am certain things work out. Maybe and most likely… actually… CERTAINLY, not in any way, I can imagine but certain that they do.
In February of 2021, my dog Scraps, bit the end of my nose nearly off leaving me with 12 stitches.1 I was two days from leaving Atlanta for a job with a lovely screenwriter and her family in Virginia. A job that would probably have lead me back to Los Angeles. Today I was reading through old posts in my Notes App and found several drafts of texts I sent to my would-be boss. At first, I’d planned to still take the job, fly up after I got my stitches out. As the days went on and the shock wore off, I realized I really didn’t want to leave. I agonized over my intuition. Was I scared to start something new or was I not ready to leave Atlanta? Amidst the turmoil, I was certain of one thing, when I thought of staying, I felt relaxed, I felt warm, I felt relief. When I thought of leaving I felt anxious and I felt sad. In the end, I chose relief. I had no idea what was to come but I am so grateful to my stupid little dog for changing my course.
The excitement I feel for 2024 is unlike what I’ve felt in the past. I’m energized with intention. Before, I’ve had so many questions going into a new year. Will I meet someone? Will I move? Will I get a new job? This year, I have stability. I feel grounded.
Yes, I have a wonderful boyfriend. I live close to my whole family (my brother, sister-in-law and baby nephew move to Georgia today!) I have a job that I may not love but that pays the bills. Above all, having posted here consistently now to the point where stopping isn’t even an option, I have self-confidence, certainty in my follow through.
Getting older has given me patience. Years fly by. It will be March before we know it. There is nothing I need but much that I want and for that fact I am grateful. My big dreams may still be years away but I am certain now that the joy lives in the journey to them. And that even if your dog scars you for life, it will all be okay, better than you could have even hoped for.
Happy New Year, everyone. I am beyond thrilled to live every single day of 2024 and tell you weekly how they’ve felt. My iced coffee is gone. I’m popping open the bubbles.
Cheers!!
xoxo.
He is a terrier and I surprised him while he was sleeping by trying to kiss him on the mouth. So, before you think he’s a vicious monster, it was my dumb ass fault.
Wonderful post for the New Year, Boo. While you were pondering I was repeating Jim Morrison to myself for 12 1/2 hours - "Keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel" - and happily, your brother and I safely arrived at his new home last evening. You describe aging so perfectly. Thank You for kicking off my 2024 with a certainty of purpose! Love you...