The Wait is Over.
Habits I’m adopting to move into what I know I'm ready for. *Chapter 103*
I love a grand declaration. Look back at any of my journals (barf, cringe, actually no don’t) and you’ll find countless scribbles from me to the Universe screaming, “I’M READY!! SHOW ME!!! I AM READY!!!”
I’m always sure something amazing is about to happen. Constant hope. Waiting for a huge life-changing break. As a retired actor, old habits die hard but I also prefer a cup half full over half empty view any day.
When reading charts, I encourage clients to evaluate their idea of waiting. Human Design uses the word wait to describe people’s Strategy (how one gets into alignment), wait to respond, wait for an invitation, wait a lunar cycle. But I find waiting so passive and patronizing.
Wait for what?
The phone to ring? A check to arrive? Enough understanding to make a move? Absolute certainty? Waiting feels like staring at a blank wall.
I spent my 20s and 30s waiting for an audition, for a manager or an agent. Waiting to get a call. To be seen. To feel worthy and enough.
I turn 42 in three weeks and I gotta tell you, I’m fucking sick of waiting.
I’ve worked hard and diligently to trust myself and have faith in my beliefs. Allowed myself to surrender to the journey. Enjoyed a simpler life that happens to be more rich than ever. I’ve learned to look at waiting as exactly what it is, living.
Waiting is limited, living is expansive. I AM READY! SHOW ME!! I AM READY!!!
If you find yourself at a similar point, you’ve crossed a bridge and are staring not at a blank wall but at a horizon far and full of possibilities, here are some habits I’ve been practicing to cultivate the calm confidence that’s helped me feel ready to give myself the push I need to jump into my next chapter.
You are ready.
Give yourself projects and actually do them. As I mentioned last week, I’ve decided to start decorating our apartment. I’ve hung stick-on tile and wallpaper and its feels SO GREAT. Not only because the payoff is a cute apartment, just DOING something with my hands, feeling creative and completing something is so deeply satisfying. Upcoming projects include: sewing pajama pants I’ve been meaning to make for years, finding and/or making curtains, painting the bedroom, thrifting for bedside stands and a small desk. I’m absolutely invigorated by all of it.
Loooove the tile, love the wallpaper but hell if all I see is where the seams don't match. Also, anyone know how to get rid of the burn stain that came with our 90s oven?? Limit scrolling. This is the biggest duhhhh of all but it still heeds observation. I allow myself to scroll as a treat because I genuinely adore social media, find inspiration and kindred spirits there and I absolutely love content creation. BUT. I lose hours and end up feeling flat and flaccid after too long spent slack jawed chasing the next dopamine hit. So. I’ve set my ScreenZen to lock at 9pm every night and open at 9:30am the next morning. Then, during the day, I take 30 minute scroll breaks when I’m craving them. I haven’t set a limit on how many yet but FORCING myself to put the phone down after half an hour has helped. It’s honestly so hard for me… which is gross. This mass addiction we are all working to manage.
Make some Pinterest boards. Okay, I know I just said I’m limiting scrolling but Pinterest is different. Browsing my boards gives me a feeling of excitement and nostalgia and creativity. I have boards for clothes, rooms and life in general.
Organize your home. Pick a closet, a drawer, your bathroom, the whole kitchen. Clearing out space is magic. Touching all your things and reminding yourself and them why you love them or honoring the need to let them move on is SO powerful. You’ll end up with a space that feels alive and paid attention to. It’s intentional and creates so much movement.
Do the thing you keep thinking you want to do but keep talking yourself out of. Jogging. I have been dying to get outside and get back into a jogging journey for ages but have been telling myself I’m too old, my knees are too sore, my cortisol levels too unstable until finally I was like, why don’t you just shut the hell up and try? Guess what? It’s felt amazing. Do my knees hurt? Yeah. So, I got a brace. I’m so inspired by improvement that nothing can stop me.
Look up your Human Design. This is not an ad (lol) although I do offer Foundational Readings on my website. Finding out more about your Human Design is so accessible now. You’ll discover how your energy works best to keep you in alignment, how to best make decisions and avoid burnout. It’s the most powerful tool I have and this past year of delving deeper into my design and HD experiment has produced stunning results. Cannot recommend enough looking yours up!
Recover pieces of yourself you’ve forgotten or ignored. I love a moment to color or finger paint, really connect with that kid inside but something I have always loved doing is laying around and thinking. Hahaha. I’ve been giving myself breaks to lay in my bed and stare out the window for long stretches of time. No phone. No distraction. Just all the thoughts. Thrifting is another big hobby I’ve neglected for years. I’ve set a rule that I will only be buying clothes second hand for the next year. It fosters my creativity and scratches the itch to say, “Oh this? I found it at Goodwill.” Do you need a paint by number or a drawing pad? Do you need to give yourself a scavenger hunt and go for a walk? Do something that feels like little you would like.
Pick a word for your year. For my birthday this year, I’m assigning myself a new word. Usually I save this for the New Year (2025’s words were Consistency and Elegance) but this year I’m ready NOW. I am choosing: Unleashed. I’m ready to run full force into my new chapter, battle self doubt with the confidence that I know what I’m doing and that I’ll figure it out if I don’t.
Notice little tiny things. The steam coming off your coffee. A ladybug on a leaf. The tennis ball you found stuck in a fence, a wink from your puppy dog who recently passed after you asked him specifically to send you a sign in the way of “tennis balls in places they shouldn’t be”…. Y’all I cannot encourage you enough to ask your loved ones who’ve moved on to send you signs. Ask specifically and then be bowled over when you notice them. So special.
My sweet Scraps, I miss you everyday. Have fun. Jesus, don’t we all need fun? To wake up and remember the absurdity of it all and decide, I’m gonna laugh? Why not? Start making decisions from here. It’s empowering. You’re a grown up, you’re allowed to do what you want and you’re allowed to have fun while you’re doing it. There’s enough serious shit we’re all gonna have to navigate, in between that crap, let’s have as much fun as we can.
Waiting isn’t always bad and is sometimes entirely productive. Lately, I’ve had to give myself a bit of a waiting period and it’s felt, for the first time, empowered. I needed time to let my emotions reach a neutral calm before making a big (career) decision and I gained so much clarity in the days it took to get there.
Allowing my toddler self to feel all my feelings, to throw giant tantrums and learn, hmmm, maybe I don’t like that, I let my twisted up soul scream and cry about what she wants until she could peacefully express why. When finally I got to the reason, I’ve been able to proceed with confidence and it feels exhilarating and scary and alive.
In the coming weeks, I’m excited to share my new transition with you and I’d love to know if you’re feeling the urge for big shifts too. Sending you power and love. Talk to you soon!
And since we are speaking of changes…
My dear, sweet Paid Subscribers who have been severely neglected for the past few months and stuck with me anyway, new treats for you! I’ve decided to migrate my weekly Here’s The List, into a monthly favorites post for all the things I’ve enjoyed reading and watching shockingly also called Here’s The List just for you AND an exclusive monthly solo podcast, The Voice Note, in which I’ll share recipes and all the things I’m doing and loving. So you will be getting bi-weekly goodies starting next week, thanks for supporting me, I’ll never get over it!
If you’d like to upgrade, you should, it’s $5 a month and you immediately get my cookbook, Pretty Easy: All the Recipes I Know by Heart AND my 10-step guide to manifestation, Yeah, You Can Manifest!
A few more things:
Visit my website to book a Human Design reading.
Follow my IG! I am posting some fun reels over there documenting my decorating projects, my jogging journey, some Human Design bits and all the fun things.
Thanks so much for being here. I’m excited to share a new chapter of work coming soon!
Have a wonderful week!!
I love this Boo, and it gives me a little blueprint for my post-full-time-working “career”. Thank you!
David Bowie described time and changes quite well. From “Changes”…
“…Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes…”
This feels like perfect timing for grounding myself at turning 30. It also reminded me that for my entire 29th year I would remind myself to not say "I'm almost 30" (learned from you 39th year turning 40 story) and allow myself to be in the stage I was in!