The Relativity of Time
...a weak analysis of a book I finished and discussing a book I haven't even read. *Chapter 2*
I’ve been thinking a lot about time this week. As I’ve gotten older, my patience threshold has increased exponentially and I no longer feel like I’m going to turn inside out if something I want doesn’t materialize the moment I realize I want it. I’m grateful for that. It makes the journey of it all so much more enjoyable. It makes a year-long goal, like the one I committed to last week (being here), seem very exciting. On the doorstep of a new decade, I’m bringing together the skills and wisdom I didn’t even know I’d been gathering for the past 39 years. I haven’t read Atomic Habits (should I?) but from what I understand, it talks about habit stacking. Love the sound of it. Spending my time more wisely is a habit I’m really looking forward to adding to the stack.
I moved home to start a new life three weeks before pandemic times, so I was easily and very luckily able to sink into those two years and use them as a space for decompression and self-reflection. I pretty much meditated an hour and a half a day. It created this feeling like the first day of a ten day vacation, when you know you’re just at the beginning of your trip and you can totally relax because you have all these days ahead of you to have fun. That’s how I felt about life at that point. Everything was new and a discovery. These days, the mundanity of work and basic life stuff like groceries and laundry have found me longing for that vacation excitement. It’s made me want to get to the bottom of how to cultivate that feeling back into my everyday and really consider how I’m spending my time.
This week, I finished listening to The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. I found the book from an entry I read by A Tiny Apartment, another great Substack I love, where she listed all the books that have changed her life. I found The Big Leap maybe not life-changing but certainly mind-tingly, it definitely got me thinking. In it he explains his understanding of Einstein Time, or simply, that time is relative. Einstein said (note: there’s debate on the actual quote but this is the general idea), “When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it’s only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity.” I’m a pretty productive person. I love chores, running errands and ticking off boxes from my To Do Lists. What this book made me consider is the minute-to-minute scaffolding completing these tasks places around my day. It makes it feel like I never have enough time because if I fall behind by 20 minutes, I’m screwed. If I put a load of laundry in at 9am and it’s done by 9:45, I can run to pick up some coffee in between, get the clothes in the dryer by 10am, I’ll have time to grab them before Pilates at 11:30am…etc. Between chores is the mindless scrolling of Instagram and YouTube (I am not allowed to have TikTok I would forget to eat), hours I lose poring over cleaning montages and refrigerator restocks. Spending time on social media feels like some demented version of relative time. It’s kind of like being with the nice girl while simultaneously holding your hand on a hot stove, you lose yourself and time, but you’re aware of it and have nothing to show for it when you finally come back up for air. I am thrilled to have rediscovered this week, that writing for me feels like being with the nice girl. An hour feels like a minute. I have to set alarms to remind myself to get up. It’s not structured like chore time, it’s not guilt-ridden like social media time, it’s like floating happily in the ocean. Ugh. God. Did that sound so cringey? (I mean, also picture me furiously rewriting this entry five times since Saturday morning because I just could NOT get it right til now. Choppier seas but still, I was floating in between drowning.) Replacing a large chunk of social media time with writing time, feels like a huge accomplishment. A habit I definitely want to keep and stack upon. It’s also made it so that, even if I do fall 20 minutes behind schedule in the land of chores, I still feel full and accomplished, not rushed and defeated. The Big Leap is a tiny read so if you’re looking for a self-help top up, sure, I’d recommend it.
A few other tidbits to mention: I’m numbering these weekly “chapters” now. It makes it easier for me to realize milestones and y’all know I love a milestone. After breaking the seal and posting last Monday, I found myself mid-week, craving the chance to post again so I’ve decided to add in an occasional bonus entry, “A Good Thing.” Total nod to Martha Stewart. These “Good Things” will include recipes and books and other things I love. They’ll be short, sweet entries that should inspire you to try something I’ve tried. Maybe I’ll make a cooking video.
I hope you’ve had a wonderful week and that this week finds you having the best day of your life. I look forward to updating you again next. As always, thank you for your support and for reading, I’m truly, deeply grateful.
Cheers.