Technical Difficulties

My computer put a note on her door saying Do Not Disturb… *Chapter 44*

I thought for sure she would have restarted by the time Scraps, our neurotic family terrier, finished trying to bury his food bowl under the mat it sits upon and decided to eat his dinner. That event has come and gone. He determined once more he could stomach another gourmet dog meal, methodically gobbled it up and has since cleaned his beard off on the rug and begged me to play with him. My MacBook still sits here, rainbow spinny thing spinning.

I am writing this to you via my phone. It’s a bit like trying to scream while dreaming, only able to produce a muffled uhhhhh. I’m suspicious of the end here. Editing videos and uploading them has sent this laptop into fits akin to the ones I throw when I’m sick of waiting tables. It’s also burning up.

This isn’t great news. My car needs an oil change and new back brakes. It’s been so slow at the restaurant, I got cut Saturday night and didn’t get to work. But honestly, I can’t get it up to lose my shit. Probably once I update my operating system, my computer will be fine. It’s the first week of summer break and people have left for vacation, I’m sure business will pick back up again. It’s all fine. It’s alllllll fiiiiine.

The Dudes, portrait of my dad and brother, of course by Bonnie Lynn Felton, lynnfelton.com

I’m at my parents’ for Father’s Day. Jethro is in front of the TV watching golf while Bonnie and I sit together in their lovely sunroom with the dogs. Bear, our sweet brown lab, has an injured toe and a torn ACL. He is pitiful but cheerful, laying on his bed, hopeful for one of the potato chips I am shoving into my mouth to fall near his. We are obviously drinking Prosecco.

Our next DeeJay’s (the pop up restaurant I run with my boyfriend and best friend) is two weeks out and I spent the last few days recipe testing peach upside down cakes for dessert. My sister-in-law provided the missing piece, a cake recipe to end all other cake recipes. Nailing that down has me even more excited, I’ll be drizzling creme anglaise table side. Divine.

This week I put my podcast on Spotify, set up a YouTube channel and uploaded one of my cooking videos there. It’s probably why my computer has gone to its room and slammed the door, I asked a lot of her. I caught up with several best friends this week, hour long phone calls that leave me pleased to realize when asked how I am that I can genuinely answer, great. Apart from hormonal fluctuations, feeling annoyed at my job and occasionally wondering generally just ‘what the fuck’ I have nothing but gratitude for my life.

After being cut Saturday, I set up a date with my sweet, lovely and truly magical friend, Alicia. She runs the Substack, Superbloom Healing. When I tell you she is an angel on earth, I am by no means exaggerating. My energy healing sessions with her have very honestly changed my life. We went to Miller Union, one of the best restaurants in Atlanta, to visit my brother who is Chef de Cuisine there. I felt so full, literally and figuratively. When we were served the pork belly appetizer, I looked at the plate and knew exactly what had inspired the dish. PF Chang’s lettuce wraps, a childhood favorite of ours, an absolute delicacy. It made me feel incredibly special and proud to have been a part of the memory that created something other diners were raving about. To share it with a new and treasured friend, the cherry on top, the creme anglaise drizzle. It was perfect.

My nephew is almost nine months old, learning to wave and proud of drinking water from a cup. His mom, my sweet, cake master SIL and I saw Justin Timberlake last Monday night. While I am not a dedicated fan (I was BSB y’all) it was still unexpectedly moving. To hear him say to everyone at State Farm Arena that night, that we’d grown up together over the past 30 years of his career…wow. Twenty five years since I was painting poster boards, trying desperately to get the attention of the opposing boy band. We’ve all come a long way.

I’m now sitting at the top of the stairs to my parent’s deck looking down on the backyard where I grew up. There’s the hammock where, at 17 years old, I laid, September 11th 2001, confused how I could feel so sad for so many people and also still be completely obsessed with thinking about the boy I had a crush on. Next to it is the hydrangea I planted in 2020, when I again lived with my parents while the world experienced another life altering era. It’s finally blooming dark purply blue flowers, four years later.

Tonight we are making my favorite food, chicken fingers. Dad and I, unbeknownst to each other, both requested them. We’ll eat together, watch an old episode of Great British Bake Off and then I will head home. Tomorrow, Alan, Betsy and I and hopefully a small pack of other friends, will head out to Ashland Farms to present them with a (literally) big check from DeeJay’s.

first giant check we presented to our friends at Snapfinger Farms

I told Scraps tonight he should be grateful for four healthy paws considering his cousin Bear’s current condition. I certainly am and I hope you are too. It’s all gonna be fine. *checks laptop once more…*

Same backyard, 2020, the day Scraps and Bear met.

READING

I finished Great Circle and cried…like a lot. I’m starting The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O’Farrell. I read Hamnet last year and didn’t love it but liked it so I’m interested to see how I feel about this.

WATCHING

We finished Mr and Mrs Smith the show and I f’ing looooved it. Excited for a second season. Also, Mayor of Kingstown is back, brutal, hopeless, so good.

LISTENING

Alicia’s first podcast on Superbloom!

I am absolutely loving all the daylight, 9pm and it’s still bright. I’ve been wearing daily, the same pair of wide leg, ankle length flowy pants I added to my wardrobe a week ago. Taking more walks, sweating and resolving NOT to keep our apartment at 68° since Alan now has a head cold because of it. I’ll survive at 72° and a lower energy bill…

I hope you are enjoying your summer. Did you check out my latest cooking video? Please resolve to make yourself a peach upside down cake while peaches are actually in season. You will NOT be sorry.

I’m sending you love and gratitude. As always, take care of yourself and of the things and people you love.

xoxo.