It is Sunday. My first Sunday off in many. Since the restaurant was nominated for a James Beard in April and then won in June, I’ve been working an extra shift a week to capitalize on our popularity. I knew I’d burn out eventually. Handling three turns a night, every night, serving guests who want to know everything about everything including how long I’ve worked here, how well I know Chef, how the menu “works”, the history of Decatur, if I’ve ever tried the food, etc… has been exhausting. I decided a month ago to commit myself to posting here once a week, I also decided, Sundays as a server had to go. Now, Sundays are my writing day. I feel so legit.
Today, I’m at my parents’ house. My dad (and the dogs) became my inaugural Podcast guest and I’m very excited to edit and see how we did. I’m drinking a glass of Prosecco, feet up on an ottoman, my computer on my lap. My mother just placed a special sticker on the back of my screen to keep EMF rays from burning my ovaries (?). She also planted one on my phone. Scraps and Bear (the dogs) just arrived back from their walk with my dad and we’re going to watch an episode of The Great British Bake-Off in a bit. Chapter 4 of my weekly posting has me wondering what in the world I should write about. Forgoing anything too philosophical and to keep from waxing poetic, I’ll tell you a few things I’ve done this week.
I read a great post from Maybe Baby this morning about this thing called the Region-Beta Paradox. It explains how we will solve a problem if it is absolutely terrible but if it’s just slightly off, medium bad, we’ll just live with it. For example, if you break your arm, you’ll get a cast and make sure it’s healed. If your wrist kind of hurts, you’ll just keep shaking it and massaging it, saying, “I dunno maybe it’s carpel tunnel” for years until you absolutely have to get it checked. Do yourself a favor and read her post because my crude explanation is doing it no justice. But I loved thinking about these instances in my life. On the macro level, I’ll keep overworking myself to the point where I become an intolerable, ailment ridden, bitch coworker and then mercifully cut back a day. In the micro sense, the drain continues to clog until finally I discover the Tub Shroom and easily empty the hair from the hole.
I talked with my therapist on Wednesday. She calls these irregular sessions, ‘top-ups’ which I love because it reminds me of when I studied abroad in London. We’d have to “top up” our phones with data so we could call home. How retro. We used calling cards called “Euro Nation.” When you called the recording would say, “thank you for calling Urination.” Still laughing about that 20 years later. It’s been over two years since my last therapy ‘top up’. Scraps had just bitten the end of my nose almost off and I was trying to decide whether to take a job that would lead me back to LA or to stay indefinitely in Atlanta. I needed some guidance and my incredible, lighthouse of a therapist was there to listen and talk me through. It felt nice to reflect this week on how much changed after making that HUGE decision to stay. The other side of the Region-Beta Paradox, the rock bottom where you absolutely have to make a move, have to heal the wound. These days, I’m topping up to discuss my health anxiety and my career stagnation, problems I’ve created to fill the holes left by the bigger ones. How cute and human of me.
I worried this week that I’m overloading everyone with content. Posting too many times a week since I’ve added the Good Things. I lost a follower and went into a tailspin. I love reading shit from the Substacks I love. Most of them post 2-3 times a week and I will literally stop what I’m doing to read what they’ve written. Substack is my hot tub. It’s so relaxing. Slow time. No scrolling. Real content. I believe you’re here reading this because you’re genuinely curious about what I’m gonna say this week and I hope you know how grateful I am to share my thoughts with you.
I love when writers tell me what they’re reading, listening to and watching so I will wrap this up with a small round-up of what I’ve enjoyed this week.
READING
Financial Feminist, by Tori Dunlap. I’m actually listening to this on Audible. I’ve liked it a lot and am two and half weeks into writing down every single thing I spend money on which has been illuminating.
War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy. Okay listen, I read an Emily Henry book. Y’all, I tried, I just could NOT get into it so I went to the other end of the literary spectrum. So far, it feels like reading Anna Karenina (imagine that). I dunno, it seems like a great book for Fall.
WATCHING
Grey’s Anatomy. Again. Don’t. Just don’t. I have rewatched the first 10 seasons (it’s not worth it to me after Christina leaves) of this show so many times I could throw up. It never stops being completely compelling. They are my friends. I am a doctor. I love it.
High Maintenance. I know this has been out for years but I remember when it was a web series and it was brilliant. The HBO version is terrific. Truly, the acting and writing, ugh. It makes me want to say what I used to say when I lived there, “there’s nothing better than New York City actors.”
LISTENING
Normal Gossip. I am re-listening to this brilliant podcast.
The Opportunist. If you want a serialized crime story, they have so many and it’s so great.
Because today is a day of remembrance, I’m linking a tribute I wrote to New York City on 9/11 in 2018. Feel free to give it a read.
I hope you all have an incredible week. The best week yet. I’ll see you here again next Monday. For now I send you a kiss and a hug and a cheers.
Honestly, I’m a little tipsy from the Prosecco at this point.
xoxo.