Happy New Year!!

Let's reflect. *Chapter 72*

I don’t know about you, but this bizarre in-between week of nothingness finds me, usually, consuming massive amounts of “plan with me” content and getting overly excited for a clean slate. Let’s be real, January 1st is just another day but there is still something invigorating about a perceived fresh start.

I remain adamant that the New Year does not actually begin until March-ish. January and February are still cold and dark (if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere) and who can really be expected to get anything done when half the Earth is still snoozing? This year I’ve been surprised at how I feel both relaxed and weirdly anxious to ring in 2025.

I’ve always considered myself a lucky person and 2024 was no exception. I am healthy, my family is healthy, I’ve grown a LOT over the course of the past 12 months and honestly what more could I hope for? This twang of worry I can only chalk up to getting older and standing knee deep in the existential waves of aging. What will I do about my neck skin? My achey knees? Will I ever look hot again? What will I do when I lose my parents? What will I do? Period.

This is new for me. I’ve encountered a few people this month who experience extreme New Year paralysis. Where I typically find myself dreaming and excited for what the next year has in store, they cower in terror at what could potentially happen. It’s not that I don’t feel ecstatic about life, want to squeeze every drop from it and plan all the goals I can’t wait to achieve, I just feel more aware of time this December.

It flies and it drags.

Back in November, I started a new fitness journey. Getting in the habit of working out and cooking and drinking a little less. Maybe it’s why the punch of January 1st doesn’t feel so potent, I’ve already waded into resolution waters, it’s not so cold now that I’m used to it.

Joy, by Bonnie Lynn Felton, lynnfelton.com

This forgotten week between Christmas and New Year’s, I love to spend reflecting and goal setting. When I read back my list for 2024 I realized I hadn’t achieved anything I set out to. Lol. These plans were made hastily, lacking self-awareness, written because they sounded good to me at the time. I’d love to do a quarterly check-in this year to reevaluate and analyze my forward movement instead of sleepily deciding what the next 12 months will look like from a place of delusional excitement. (But also, I do thrive in and crave delusion…)

Although none of my 2024 plans were realized, I brought a truckload of other ideas to life. A Manifestation Guide and a Cookbook. I retired from serving and stepped into this bridge phase of my life. I posted around 70 Substack essays, 9 podcasts and 6 cooking videos. I got better control over my finances and have a clear plan towards becoming debt free. And I still felt ALL THE TIME like I wasn’t doing enough.

Which is as arbitrary as a $3000 hospital bill. Who says what is enough? This morning I watched this video about purpose. I was reluctant at first because I perceive my “purpose” as paramount to my every waking moment, that it could be bullshit disturbed the hell out of me. This was a lovely dose of perspective.

I think I feel a bit more subdued this year because I’m confusing peace with a lack of motivation or with fear. I am more aware that both good and bad things can happen in a year and that that is okay. I feel completely excited to take full advantage of all the things I can control in my life and to count that as the progress that matters.

Waking up early, exercising, walking, writing, seeing friends, meeting new friends, telling the hot barista how gorgeous her manicure is, making someone’s day just for the hell of it, planning adventure dates for me and Alan, being outside more, checking in with myself more, cooking more food, drinking less coffee just to see if it makes a difference, reading more books, recording more podcasts, letting my life expand for no other reason than the fact that it can.

I want to create more this year than I ever have from a place of contented calm. Not because I feel like I have to but because I get to. I want to wade fully into the existential ocean, lay back and look at the stars, float in the fear without sinking. There’s a feeling of feeling it all, all at once, this week. A container full of joy and hope and fear and sadness baked into a solid feeling of acceptance and grounding.

My instinct tells me 2025 has more in store for the world than we can even comprehend. That we will experience growth spurts like never before and also growing pains that will ache and splinter. What I hope and pray is that we can remember to be kind to each other and to ourselves. To remember how much power we really have and to wield it with care for a better experience for all.

I am sending you peace, joy and love. May 2025 be our best year yet!

READING

Please send all book recs. I was a TERRIBLE reader last year and plan on changing that going forward. What are your favorites?

WATCHING

Surprise, surprise, a YouTube recommendation. Have been loving Sunday Reset videos from EvetteRene. Very inspiring and grounded.

Also, we watched and napped through both LOTR 2 and 3 and can I just say, that last hour of LOTR 3 is like…so long wth.

LISTENING

This Plan with Me episode (ep.118) from Grace Beverley. Her approach to planning is A LOT but it completely resonated with me this year and I have spent the last week following her method.

The time has come for me to invest in a new computer. My 2019 MacBook Pro hardly charges even plugged in and I am anxiously awaiting the day she decides to give up completely. I need something capable of video and podcast editing and don’t have room for desktop yet. Might you have suggestions for me?

That being said, I am trying to get my final podcast of the season to you before NYE…we will see if my computer aligns with this plan. I am being more intentional with my content in 2025 and so will announce a new ‘season’ of podcasts and cooking videos in Q1 as I unfold what that’s going to look like.

I hope you ring in a safe and lovely January 1, 2025! Happy New Year, lovely readers, thank you for being here.