Alas, another post where I’ve sat down to type to you with no clue about what. Let’s discover together, shall we?
The past two weeks have felt calmer. Longer mornings in bed drinking coffee and reading scrolling. Less booze, earlier wake-ups and routines that have naturally taken shape. I’ve been meditating again. Having felt no need or pressure to do so, it’s just happened. Feels like draining out my brain. Like I’ve slept horizontally for 7 hours and need to recalibrate all my fluids. It’s felt akin to that first drink of water in the morning, a craving.
Journaling showed up as meditation’s plus one. She’s not around as regularly but boy has her visit been powerful. I’ve always been an edited journaler. When I was 10 my grandmother told me never to write something down I’d be embarrassed for someone to read. I’ve certainly fished that out of the subconscious, gutted and tossed it. My writing has been illuminating. I feel like I finally get what it means to clear your head through journaling. I’ve filled pages with crap, a dumpster book, handwriting so messy no one could even read it. Grandmommy Dorothy would probably even approve.
Tomorrow I’ll go in for my “I’m 40” Boob Smash. Some call it a mammogram. It won’t be a total mystery as I had one in my 30s but nonetheless I’m not like… thrilled. So many of my friends turned 40 last year and we’ve all rolled our eyes, “I have to get my MAMMOGRAM…” We sound like our mothers, so grown up. There’s a coming-of-age coziness to it, like getting your first period, these modern day rites of passage.
If you’re reading this in email, you’ll notice a fresh banner up there at the top. I spent a few days this week “rebranding” my Substack and I love the chicer, more polished appearance. My friend Morgan described it as editorial which I love. Definitely the site of a woman aged for a Boob Smash.
Speaking of rebranding, I’ve also reworked my 10 year old website, brittanyfelton.com. I created the logo from behind the desk of a temp job in Los Angeles. Laughing to myself, I included the quote, “Yeah, I’d hang out with her” thinking I was hilarious and will ya look at us now. It remains home to my short films and comedy work but will eventually also provide an index of services I’ll offer this year. Copywriting, editing, proofreading and ghost-writing are amongst the multi-hyphenate list I’m crafting. Embracing imposter syndrome, I’m creeping into an unknown territory of possibility and I’m very excited (and nervous) to see what’s over the hill.
This afternoon I’ll get to see my nephew, brother and sister-in-law. It still hasn’t sunk in that we are all Georgia residents again. How incredibly full circle and whole it feels. Similar to my path back to meditating, everything seems natural now. A sense of patience that doesn’t feel like waiting. There’s an ease in recognizing that life unfolds how it’s going to and that our only real task is to smooth out the edges and settle onto the picnic blanket of life. Inhale. Exhale. Pass the baguette.
Happy Age of Aquarius!
Here’s the list:
READING
I’m editing a book for a friend. Hi, Elaine! So I’ve spent most of my week on that.
WATCHING
We finished Slow Horses. God, it was good and watched Blues Brothers. What a damn classic.
Starting True Detective and hear that the new season is Fargo is top notch. I haven’t watched the other seasons but that may be a contender this week.
LISTENING
Y’all. I love Spotify’s Daylist. It’s a dream come true for someone like me who has no skill at curating the music I like. My most recent playlists have included titles like “Energy Modern R&B Sunday Afternoon”, “Cleansing Reiki Friday Afternoon” and “Peaceful Piano Neoclassical Thursday Morning.” I’m basing my whole identity on these for the foreseeable future.
I hope you’re having a nice January. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster over here but I’m enjoying the ride. It occurred to me that we’re a few weeks away from hitting the six month mark of consistency here which is mind-blowing. When I started this weekly posting journey I looked forward to reflecting back on chunks of time and this feels absolute proof to me how quickly it flies.
I’m about to hit 200 subscribers which I feel a bit silly and bashful mentioning but I’ll grant myself a revelatory moment nonetheless. If you feel compelled and have the time, I’d be so grateful if you’d share my Substack with your friends. I’d really love to see it grow this year.
Also, can we have a moment of appreciation for my splendidly talented mother whose expansive body of work I get the pleasure of sharing here every week. I truly cannot believe how many stunning paintings and drawings she has, some of which I don’t even remember or haven’t even seen. Please check out her work at lynnfelton.com and her IG @bonzart!
Have a wonderful week my friends.
xoxo.
Love this! And I loved slow horses too.
Perfect post for the old man to ingest this morning. I'm in a similar place, but I like the look of fresh ink on my journal pages.
(FWIW, I ignored your grandmother's (inane) advice on journal entries. You'll fully appreciate this if/when you ever dig into the voluminous books you and your brother will be left to rifle through.)