Ahoy! I am so excited to tell you that as I’m writing this, I am picturing where I will be while you’re reading it. I write my Monday essays on Sunday so I’m astral projecting myself into the future where I’m sipping a Bloody Mary at the Hartsfield-Jackson airport sitting next to my spectacular boyfriend who is about to take his first flight ever. We left the house 4 hours before our flight even though we live half an hour from the airport because I wanted plenty of time to get through security, browse magazines, get a pack of gum and find a bar to officially begin our vacation.
We’re heading to New York City to celebrate my 40th birthday. I am beside myself with excitement. My hands are tingling. I keep staring off into space thinking about the trip. It’s freaking me out. I should measure my excitement. Manage my expectations. My anxiety worry brain is begging I don’t get too carried away. What if I’m disappointed or devastated? What if something happens? Anything could go wrong! I’m delighted to say my gut and my heart just aren’t in it for the sabotage this week. I am overwhelmingly excited. Giddy, in fact. I wanna jump up and down and squeal. And so I’m just gonna! I’m heading into a new decade, taking a vacation with the man I love who is getting on an airplane for the first time WITH ME to visit my most favorite city in the world. I refuse to choose fear over happiness, this is so exciting. This is the best!
*pause for deep breath*
Last week was full of beginnings and overwhelming emotion. My nephew arrived Monday! He is the first grand-baby and the fifth Jethro Jerome of our family. My brother, the fourth Jethro (Jay), told me how much he loves to gaze into his new son’s eyes. He said they remind him of my eyes. I will never, I repeat, NEVER recover from this remark. That there is a new perfect human on this earth who shares my DNA is more moving than I could ever have been prepared for. That his eyes remind my brother of mine…
*pause for another deep breath*
Y’all. I have shed many happy tears in the last seven days. Over FaceTime yesterday, meeting my nephew for the first time, my brother and sister-in-law (goddess of all things who delivered that huge baby boy naturally) and I chatted about being at the very start of a new chapter. All together. It’s Fall. I’m at the cusp of a new decade. They are now parents. Alan is flying. There is simply too much to be grateful and excited about to allow anything but absolute joy to fill my cup. I can literally feel my heart expanding, it’s a tingling in my hands and in my chest. I’m going to just let it wash over me and enjoy it. Be present in the moment. And certainly not let those intrusive dramatic fantasies of what could go wrong disrupt my vibe.
*deep breath*
I read this absolutely amazing post from Maybe Baby this morning. If you read my Substack regularly, you will know I’m a huge fan of hers. Titled “Rethinking “Self-Care,” she discusses the difference of helping someone help themselves as opposed to figuring out how to help yourself solo. How it’s easier to clean your closet if your friend is sitting on your bed. It brought me to tears for the 1,000th time this week.
“Whether through bowls of pre-chopped ingredients in my fridge or the reinforcing presence of a friend, I’ve become more attuned to the infinite ways I receive help and require care, and return them too. And through this, the concept of self-care has come to seem all the more mythic: not a practice honed in solitude, but co-created and enabled. A communal project that defies its own name.”
Entering a new chapter, supported and surrounded by family and friends starting their own fresh eras, I feel exhilarated and inexpressibly grateful. Thank you for being a part of my community, you consistent reader, you have absolutely helped me to help myself over the past 7 weeks and I’m more and more invigorated all the time to expand as a writer and creative. Truly, thank you.
To wrap this up and get to packing, I’ll list for you what I consumed this week.
READING
Scraps. Carolina Gelen’s Substack. Really you should check out her IG and watch her videos because she is the cutest human ever but her recipes are simple and to die for. The latest for French Ravioli is one I cannot wait to try.
I’m finishing The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and still loving it.
WATCHING
Full House. I’m not joking. This has become mine and Alan’s wind down after work show…y’all…it’s really good, I don’t know what else to say.
LISTENING
Happy-Go-Lucky by David Sedaris. I’m listening to this on Audible and it’s so great. I love how he writes and I love listening to him read his stories. Definitely recommend.
I hope you breathe deep this week and allow yourself some presence. That you embrace your loved ones, receive what is offered and give what you can.
I can’t wait to fill you in next Monday on our New York adventure!
xoxo.
I love this and you 💗❤️💗
For the second week in a row I will share a something by a musical artist that you don't care for (last week Widespread Panic, this week Pearl Jam), because I think the lyrics from their beautiful song "Just Breathe" are so fitting...
Oh, I'm a lucky man
To count on both hands
The ones I love
Some folks just have one
Yeah, others they got none
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Have fun in the Big 🍎
I❤️NYC2